This May 15th article from the CrossFit Games page really struck a chord with me. As a woman, I know that the battle of what to eat and how little of it to consume is the focus of many ladies out there. The truth is that being obsessed with looking thin and living up to society’s standard of beauty gets dangerous… life threatening, even. Take for example this empowering story of Emma Moburg-Jones. This former anorexic found CrossFit, and successfully replaced a negative addiction with a positive one.
From Thin to Fit – An Anorexic’s Story
Three years ago, Aaron Moburg-Jones dragged the skeletal frame of his anorexic sister to CrossFit—and helped turn her life around.
Emma Moburg-Jones struggled with anorexia for three years. She restricted her food intake to below what was necessary to fuel her body, and then burned every calorie on her eight-mile morning runs. Standing at 5’7”, Emma weighed just 105 pounds —up from 93.
At this point, Emma knew she had an eating disorder and decided that she wanted out. But she was struggling to break free of the anorexic thinking. “I was in the middle of transitioning, or at least trying to go through the motions on my way to becoming a normal person with normal eating habits, but my thinking was exactly the same,” Emma says.
Emma still wanted to be thin and she feared muscle, so she continued to cater her exercise and diet toward thinness rather than health. She eschewed Aaron’s recommendations to incorporate CrossFit into her running, and focused solely on burning calories.
Discovering CrossFit, and Muscles
It wasn’t until she attended a free CrossFit workout in the park that things began to change. That day, Emma got her “ass kicked by everyone.” It jolted her. She had worked so hard for her body — she was a runner and therefore an athlete in her mind — so she was shocked to realize she wasn’t fit.
“I am a competitive person,” Emma explains. Being tested publicly and falling behind was exactly what she needed start the change in earnest. “I wanted to win … and getting my ass kicked motivated me more than anything.
“Slowly, over the next year, as I watched these badass CrossFit women train, my mindset started to change. I wanted to be like them. I wanted to be stronger. I wanted to be bigger. And I realized that muscles were actually sexy, not manly.”
Focusing her competitive drive on CrossFit has helped Emma break free from her eating disorder. To keep from getting her ass kicked at every workout, Emma has started thinking, eating, and exercising differently. When she ate well, she did better. If she returned to poor eating, she’d fall behind. CrossFit challenged her to change, gave her a new focus, and offered her a tangible way to track how she was doing on the road to health and fitness.
Now, just three years later, Emma Moburg-Jones owns CrossFit So ILL and will compete in the 2011 North Central Regional. Anorexia is a serious medical condition with a low recovery rate. Emma’s return to health is remarkable, but particularly since she has found that the addition of CrossFit has not only helped her get out of the disordered thinking about food, but has also helped her stay on track and avoid relapse. Emma has come far, however, the road to recovery wasn’t easy or without setbacks. This is a glimpse of her journey.
Slipping Back Into Obsessive Eating
Soon after joining CrossFit, Emma‘s trainers recommended she try the Zone Diet. Although the diet has worked for many CrossFitters, Emma found that weighing and measuring, and “cheat days” brought her back into her disordered eating behaviors and thinking.
“It was the Zone that started to get me in trouble,” Emma says. “I was in transition at the time — no longer starving myself, but trying to eat at least a bit throughout the day without obsessing about exactly how much I was eating, but the Zone told me that it was time to go back to doing that.”
The Zone diet didn’t help Emma because it refocused her attention on quantities of food. Many people who have suffered from anorexia have obsessed about calories and quantities, and may find it hard to weigh and measure without returning to obsessive thinking, or over-control.
“I tried it for a bit, counting every almond, weighing my deli meat to the exact right amount of blocks,” Emma explains, “but I started to feel some old thinking creeping back in.” Once again, she started to feel herself, “Needing to control and account for every calorie, and trying to delay gratification by eating all of by blocks at one time in the evening (i.e. binging).” The Zone triggered Emma’s eating disorder, but fortunately she changed course and tried another approach to eating.
Next, Emma tried intermittent fasting, but without any luck. Emma found that intermittent fasting allowed her to return to a “full blown eating disorder” behavior that she could disguise as a health-based regimen. After her struggles with intermittent fasting, Emma strongly suggests that no trainer recommend this diet to an athlete with a history of eating disorders.
Finding a Balance with Nutrition
Finally, she found success with Paleo. Emma says the Paleo diet helped shift her focus from controlling quantity to quality.
Freed from counting calories or measuring blocks, Emma now simply thinks of eating clean and getting her body fuel. This allows her to bypass anything that may trigger obsessive thinking and over-control. Now, Emma keeps the quantity of food that she eats checked and balanced by her performance on the workouts. Additionally, by following Paleo most, but not all, of the time she allows in enough “cheats” that she no longer feels the urge to binge.
Dealing with Addictions
Greg Glassman believes that, “You can’t get over addictions, but you can get new ones.” For many, CrossFit is that new addiction.
We’ve seen it before. Dan Tyminski, who is ranked 6th worldwide at the end of the Open, struggled with an addiction to heroine just two years ago. Now, he endorses the motto, “F*** Drugs, Do CrossFit.”
Emma sees CrossFit as her first healthy addiction. “I have an addictive personality,” she says, “I need something to obsess about. When I was a teenager, it was illegal drugs, then it was food, and now it’s CrossFit.”
When asked if she believes her “addiction” to CrossFit can weather life’s challenges, Emma responds confidently that she believes it can. She says CrossFit has done more than simply distract her from underlying issues, but has taught her how fix some of her problems and redirect her energy toward positive goals.
“No matter what happens now, even if CrossFit became illegal, I would continue in the fitness industry or sports somehow,” Emma says. “Health and fitness has become such a huge part of my life, I know that I will never need anything else to replace it.”
“Is it a flaw that I’m an addict? Absolutely. However, as long as I am addicted to something that does not hurt me or others, I’d say it’s a pretty good flaw to have.”
Today’s Workout
Buy-in: 3 rounds of – 5 inchworms, 10 walking lunges, 15 kettlebell swings
WOD: “Christine”
This is one of the original named CrossFit workouts and is a great test of legs and lungs (in addition to being on our in-gym leaderboard). Make sure to measure your effort on the rows so that the deadlifts and box jumps go smoothly!
3 rounds for time of:
- 500m row
- 12 deadlifts @ bodyweight
- 21 box jumps (20″ for girls and guys)
Zone 3: scale deadlifts to 75% of bodyweight
Zone 2: scale deadlifts as needed
Zone 1: modify wod as needed
Games Prep: This is a tester, give it a good push
Cash-Out: Band shoulder joint stretches
- attach band up high (pull-up bar)
- move each shoulder through a large ROM, pausing to create moderate traction on the joint
- 2-3 min per shoulder
I’m looking forward to this workout, but I’m already regretting the two glasses of wine I had with dinner! Damn you, Crossfit!
this wod killed me last time, this time i will kill it!
Is there a scale at the gym?? I was planning on not eating or drinking to make a better weight.. but this post has convinced me otherwise.. well timed! But seriously, is there a scale at the gym?
I’ve been trying to gain weight all my life, then the one time I was excited to be a little guy, and I weigh myself and was up 10 lbs. What is that all about?
Can’t wait for this WOD! 20 inch box jumps… sign me up!
Good post! I think eating disorders are often not talked about as people don’t know what to say or feel shame if they are struggling with one. I know I’ve said in the past that probably 80% or more of my friends currently, or have at some, point suffered from an eating disorder. There is a lot of pressure out there to look a certain way…and I know I’ve felt that pressure, but fortunately (?) don’t have the willpower to starve myself. Performance in my workouts is too important to go without eating.
It’s interesting to see/hear the different opinions about body image based on what group of friends I hang out with. Just the other weekend I heard friends of mine talking about how great a friend looked as she had lost weight…she contributed it to a stressful job and someone actually thought that was a great payoff. Not sad that she was too stressed out to eat properly…but great in the fact that she “looked great”…who cares about her health.
As for the Zone diet, I know it works for some people, but for me, it just made me feel quilty about my food intake. Guilt if I ate a whole apple instead of a half…or a couple more strawberries than what was in a block. To me, food that’s healthy, should not have quilt associated with it.
I certainly continue to struggle with my nutritional choices and unfortunately am stuck with the slowest metabolism EVER…but if this is the body that I have and it continues to perform well in WOD’s and other athletic pursuits…then I’ll take it and continue to try and love it.
I guess the point of this article is that everyone needs to find what works for them. I totally support an athletic body type, but I think it also needs to be said that over-exercising can be dangerous too.
Anyway, I think I’ve said enough. 🙂
Krista, many well said points!
Eating disorders do tend to be a subject that people aren’t comfortable talking openly about… most especially in the fitness community. Which is one of the reasons why I felt compelled to re-post this story. Just because we don’t talk much about this issue doesn’t erase the fact that it does exist, on many levels.
And so does the pressure to look a certain way. It doesn’t matter whether or not that pressure simply exists in our own minds, or if it is actually placed on us by external influences. Even if you don’t have an eating disorder per se, you can still get caught up in these patterns of unhealthy eating and unrealistic expectations of self. It can be a really slippery slope.
I can admit that I sometimes get caught up in the “should’s” and “can’ts” of eating, and I have to carefully adjust my perception and watch my line of thought and focus. I know I’m healthy, and I love my strong, capable body. But that doesn’t mean I always enjoy putting on a bathing suit. And I’m not alone.
Just like Krista, I know many women who currently struggle or have previously struggled with an eating disorder. I’ve seen how it affects their lives and the lives of those around them.
It isn’t uncommon. It does happen to lots of people. And it even happens in CrossFit.
Kudos to Emma Moburg-Jones for having the courage to admit to the entire CrossFit community that she has struggled with her weight and body image. In choosing to focus her energies on something so positive, Emma not only improved her health, but also began her own healing process. Way to turn it around, Girl!
Thanks for posting this Shannon (I was very into the article when it was on the Games site) and for drawing our attention to this very important issue.
There is so much to say… Where to begin?!
As a former elite rhythmic gymnast weight was a HUGE issue. It’s challenging when one’s body begins to change (because of puberty/growth/injuries-changes in training etc). At a certain point, when I felt I had run out of options I turned to Bulimia. Not a smart choice, but when the end result was all that mattered (and I couldn’t starve myself) this was the only choice I felt I had.
It’s taken many years, (including years of professional counselling) to deal with issues related to body image, food and control. While I may have better balance now about all of those things, I don’t know if those ‘issues’ ever really leave you. We are constantly faced with images, pressure, reminders about how we look. Even now – I don’t want to be skinny, I want to be strong. But I think it’s so easy to go from one extreme to the next… When is enough ever enough?! I think people with personality types that are (perhaps) more prone to obsessive behaviour. Super controlled eating, excessive exercise – whether trying to lose weight or gain weight could all be labelled “Disordered”. That’s why my goal is now balance.
Of course easier said than done. But I figure if I’m enjoying myself, feeling good & working towards health and balance, let’s just enjoy the ride!!!
Erika, thanks for sharing your personal story – that takes a lot of courage I’m sure! Crossfit is an interesting contrast – on one hand, we like the numbers – the PR’s, benchmarks, stats, and on the other, we are bombarded with images of ultrafit (and ultralean!) people on a daily basis.
I remember showing up to last years Regionals and just gawking at the bodies around me … and I had to remind myself that they don’t award WOD placings based on your appearance 🙂
Everyone needs to find a happy balance point but sometimes the journey to that point is pretty rough… that’s why we have our family to rely on!
Turts
Thank you for posting the tips to proper work out. This will help us lose weight in our home by not going to the gym.
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