The importance of Spandex

Dedicated to Ray, “Mr. Spandex” an article from Lift Big Eat Big

Right now, as we speak, the world is suffering from a pandemic: Not enough men and women are training in spandex. I am not making this up, you can check with the CDC. Many men would agree that spandex is one of the greatest inventions anywhere, ever. But they only relate this to women. Men need to realize that not only do most women want to see men training in spandex, spandex can also offer benefits to your training. Let’s check out a few of the benefits.

One of the most obvious benefits of training in spandex is apparatus containment. The problem with training in basketball or gym shorts is apparatus hangin’ and swangin’. This can interfere with bar paths, and cause undue pain to the individual. Spandex solves this problem and will keep your goods from swangin’ lane to lane. No longer will you have to tuck it back, or have massive amounts of chalk on your crotch from constantly having to readjust yourself. Now isn’t that nice?

Shorts can catch on your knee when squatting or worse, have the inseam interfere with your depth because they are too small due to your massive gluteus booteus. Spandex solves both of these issues. By conforming to the shape of your lower body, no longer will you have to worry about depth and knee position being called into question. Is there anything worse on the planet than having your buttcrack hang out because your shorts are caught on your knee? I think not, good sir.